Haloween... A time for celebration, a time for family... but also a time for BATTLE and HONOUR! Even in the simple act of carving the holiday pumpkin, a true WARRIOR can hone his skills with the Bat'leth! Unfortunately, as human pumpkins are so small we will content ourselves with the more delicate klingon weapon - the daq tahg.
Above : this puny human pumpkin awates its fate. Ensure your daq tahg is sharp, sharpen it on the skull of a treacherous romulan if neccesary
Above : Gently scalp the pumpkin using your daq-tahg. Do not be suprised if your pet targ sniffs blood and comes to investigate.
Above : Once the saucer section has been removed in one piece, Plunge your weapon into the pumpkin like you would a cowardly ferengi! You will have to carve out the insides, just as Kahless did to his enemies.
Above : Hollowing out the pumpkin is a messy business, but a WARRIOR does not flinch from the ugly reality of BATTLE. Do not be suprised if your pet Targ wishes to feast upon the heart of your enemy.
Above : At last, the heart of the pumpkin is removed. VICTORY in the first stages of battle! Possibly time to take a break and some blood wine. But not too much. A drunken warrior will not be up to the delicate daq-tagh work in the second phase.
Above : If you are fortunate enough to be a member of a great house, such as that of Martok or Gowron, you may prefer to use your crest instead, but I will use the klingon imperial emblem in this case. Mark the outline of the emblem on the pumpkin using a bat'leth dipped in the blood of your enemies. Or in this case, a biro.
Above : Behold! With skill worthy of Kang, I have carved the first third of the emblem using my trusty daq-tagh. Victory is within our grasp!
Above : With a delicate hand, steadied by just the right amount of blood wine, I have carved the rest of the mighty klingon emblem. Be careful, at this stage, a single slip of the blade could ruin the pumpkin and hand victory to your enemy.
Above : Behold! By placing a few glowing boulders, ignited red-hot by the blast of a phaser, the klingon lantern comes alive for the first time. (or you can use tea lights).
Above : The finished pumpkin. Ensure it is placed prominently on the bridge of your vessel, to give courage to your warriors in battle, and strike fear into the cowardly hearts of your puny enemies. Qa-plagh!
Thats all folks, feel free to DIGG this page!
The words 'klingon', 'ferengi' and for all I know the word 'pumnpkin' are registered trademarks of paramount etc. This is just a bit of fun.